Life's too short to be... Untruthful

 

THE TROUBLE WITH BEING UNTRUTHFUL

 

Being truthful is a matter of ________________.

Who you are            What you say           What you do

 

Being untruthful builds your life without a _____________________.

 

Jesus said, “Everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand.”

Matthew 7.26 NRSV

 

· Being untruthful undermines _____________________.

 

With God –

 

So if we say we have fellowship with God, but we continue living in darkness, we are liars and do not follow the truth. 1 John 1.6 NRSV

 

 

With people –

 

If we live in the light…we can share fellowship with each other. 1 John 1.7 NRSV

 

· Being untruthful undermines ____________.

 

The integrity of the honest keeps them on track; the deviousness of crooks brings them to ruin.

Proverbs 11.3 Msg

THE POWER OF THE TRUTH

 

"Love rejoices in the truth." 1 Cor. 13:6 NRSV

 

    1. Being truthful _____________________.

 

        The truth about Jacob's Well –

    2. Being truthful _____________________.

        The Truth of Jacob's Well –
 
    3. Being truthful _____________________.

 

Speaking the truth with love, we will grow up in every way into Christ, who is the head.  Ephesians 4.15 NRSV

When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need--words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you. Ephesians 4.29 NCV

THE RESULT OF BEING TRUTHFUL

 

“You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” John 8.32 NRSV

 

 

Message Text:Part 3 of 5 - 12 November 2006 - Greg Meyer

 

We’ve all had our interesting experiences with being untruthful. My wife, Kris and I first started suspecting that something was going on when some friends asked about our second daughter who was 3 at the time, but didn’t ask about anyone else. Then there was a phone call from the mom of one of older daughter’s friends, and a sympathy card from another, about her being in the hospital. We looked at each other, looked at her playing in the backyard, then in unison called our older daughter, who was in kindergarten at the time.

 

She – who, by the way has NOT turned into a pathological liar – was experimenting with this thing called ‘truth.’ From the stories reported, she told about the incident (which had never occurred) with great feeling. Tears in her eyes and all, even giving daily updates about her little sister who had been hit by a car and was now in the hospital with a broken leg. The next morning I walked her to her classroom to have Caity explain to her teacher the truth. It couldn’t have been more awkward, the teacher met me at the door with cards the kids had made for my 3 year old, and to tell me that it was awards day and she was chosen to be the student of the month…

 

Now, for the record, I did email my daughter about sharing this story. She is studying in Argentina for the semester. She replied, “Wow, am I ever going to be able to show my face at Jacobs Well after this?? Man alive. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, but I’ve gotten over it. Go ahead tell the story.” So around Christmas time when you meet an attractive 21 year old who is new here, and find out it is my daughter, just act normal. Okay?! And then as you walk away… burst out laughing!

 

If that incident didn’t illustrate the verse at the top of your Message Outline on the back of The Sunday Paper, what will?

 

Truth will last forever; lies are soon found out. Proverbs 12.19 NCV

 

Truth is important – deep down inside ourselves there is a need to have everything match up. That is called integrity. Being truthful is a matter of INTEGRITY. This isn’t just something that we are supposed to be, it is something that bothers us when it isn’t present. Do you know what integrity is? It is when…:

 

WHO YOU ARE matches WHAT YOU SAY matches WHAT YOU DO.

When there is alignment of these three, your being, your words and your actions, then there is a sense of integrity.

 

Let me tell you, integrity feels good. Imagine you are a car…it means the wheels, the engine and the body are all going the same direction. Not a bad situation!

 

We use the word integrity in architecture a lot. We say a building has integrity. What that means is that there is an inner coherence to the building and it not only looks attractive, it also isn’t going to fall down.

 

A life that isn’t truthful is missing some fundamental integrity. You can’t build too much of a life that way without having everything fall apart. That next fill-in on your outline is:

Being untruthful builds your life without a FOUNDATION. Not a good idea. Picture those houses along the shoreline in California during last years heavy rains, perched over the edge and gradually falling into the ocean.

 

Jesus warned of this, he said,

“Everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand.” Mt 7.26

 

Hearing Jesus words and integrating them into our lives, is what we are called to do. Reflecting the truth that we are Children of God in what we say and do. When that isn’t happening we are like houses built on sand. Without foundations. We look good for the moment, but sooner or later the rain falls and everything beneath us washes away and so do we.

1. Being untruthful undermines RELATIONSHIPS,

 

First of all it undermines our relationships with God.

1 John 1.6 says,

So if we say we have fellowship with God, but we continue living in darkness, we are liars and do not follow the truth. 1 John 1.6 NRSV

 

Fellowship is intimacy of relationship. And truth is light. When we are living in the dark, we can quit kidding ourselves about knowing God, because we are spending more time trying not to be known by God than knowing God.

 

When you were a kid did you ever have something that you knew you weren’t supposed to have? Then one of your parents showed up so you kind of hid it behind you. But it was like they could see right through you. “What’s that you’ve got there, Greg?” They’d ask, “Nothing” you’d say, as if they were going to buy that one. Sometimes they’d pry it out of you, other times they’d let it go, but then you had this thing between you and them that was like a burr in your undershirt. It didn’t belong there and you knew that you couldn’t ignore it forever.

 

That’s how it is with God. Truth isn’t optional with God because God not only knows the truth already, God is the truth. Just like me, you’ve got areas of your life that you know aren’t right. But just like me, you don’t want God to see them, because you and I both KNOW that God will want to mess with them. Give it up. God knows anyway, and all it is doing is undermining your relationship with God.

 

Being untruthful also undermines our relationships with People.

Good Housekeeping magazine recently ran a survey about honesty. 20% of the people surveyed said making more money is enough justification to lie, 25% said it was OK to lie just to make yourself look better, 46% knew a friend who had cheated on their spouse, nearly 60% said it was OK to lie to save yourself from embarrassment. When asked, “Who have you regular lied to?” 86% said to parents, 75% said to friends, 61% said to the boss, 69% to their spouse / partner or girlfriend / boyfriend.

 

You all have a nylon zip tie on your wrists. Those ties are your lies. Big or small, doesn’t matter. They are there, and once there, you can’t get rid of it. You try to loosen it, but every time you mess with it, all that happens is that it tightens up a little more until it becomes so tight, it starts to hurt you. It’s got you. Makes you wish you hadn’t put it on in the first place, doesn’t it. Same thing goes for not telling the truth.

 

That Bible reading from 1 John goes on to say,

If we live in the light… we can share fellowship with each other. 1 Jn 1.7

The opposite is pretty obvious, when we live in darkness, without truth, we don’t have fellowship, the intimacy of our relationships is broken down. When we aren’t truthful with each other there is no basis for real relationships. We’ll talk more about that in a minute. But just get it through your head. Whether you tell the truth or not isn’t just your business, it affects your relationships.

 

Being untruthful also undermines YOURSELF.

I think we’ve made this point pretty thoroughly already, but it needs to be said. Being untruthful isn’t just telling a lie, it is not admitting the truth. We have a word for this, it is called ‘denial.’ When we fool ourselves we mess with the structural integrity of our lives. I mean, it is bad enough when someone else can’t trust us, but when you can’t trust yourself! Wow, then what?!?

· When you have made so many excuses for your lack of consideration for your family that you aren’t sure whether you are doing anything wrong anymore…

· When you are won’t acknowledge that you are a child of God, precious, honored and loved by God, like Isaiah says, with talents and passions and experiences that God wants to use, and instead you believe you are nothing, undeserving of love or admiration…

Then denial of truth is undermining you. God wants to change it!

 

The book of Proverbs says

The integrity of the honest keeps them on track;

the deviousness of crooks brings them to ruin. Proverbs 11.3 Msg

.There is a lot of wisdom in that book.

 

Take a minute or two before we go on, and with the people by you and here’s what I want you to talk about… Tell them your deepest secret you’ve never told anyone… Just kidding… Okay, not funny. Seriously, talk about this, and I’ll be back with you in a minute.

< < < DISCUSSION: Do you think ‘Honesty is the best policy?’ Why or why not?

 

The power of the truth is, as the Bible says, that love rejoices in the truth.” 1 Cor 13.6

 

And to do that there are a few ways we need to be truthful.

 

The FIRST is Being truthful CONSISTENTLY.

Face it, you can’t tell your spouse or partner, “I promise to be faithful to you MOST of the time.” If you are faithful 90% of the time, you know what you are? ‘Unfaithful,’ that’s right. Honesty is the same as faithfulness. When we aren’t honest all the time we are suspect all the time.

 

That same Good Housekeeping survey found that the most valued characteristic in a spouse or friend is honesty. Do you want to be lied to? Of course not.

 

On your outline it says, “The truth ABOUT Jacob's Well” and has a blank. The fact is that God wants to have a relationship of love, understanding and hope with you through this little outpost of God’s kingdom. And God wants you to have relationships just like that with each other here. And guess what that means… We have to based on the truth here.

 

You may have noticed on our mailings and on our website that we have four terms that we hold up.

· Casual – that’s easy. My rule for what I wear on Sunday mornings is that my kids aren’t embarrassed and it doesn’t itch.

· The other 3 aren’t so easy. Real, thinking and honest. They are all interwoven. And they are a real challenge for us. Every week! They speak of integrity.

o Real means not playing games with you.

o Thinking means we don’t want you to turn your brains off to be here. Doubting and disagreeing are ways of growing in faith.

o Honest means the truth is CONSISTENTLY told here.

 

What is the truth ABOUT Jacob's Well?

1. Jacob's Well is different than most churches, but we are just another church. We know that. We are one way of being church that certain people need.

2. We make mistakes and need forgiveness – daily – as a church and as leaders, just like you do.

3. We don’t want to be an institution that has harnessed a movement to perpetuate itself, we want to be a movement that uses organization to make the movement flourish. But that is and always will be a struggle.

4. Jacob's Well is only as strong as the people whom God has called here and their commitment to it. That means we are here for you – no strings attached. But we will try to engage you completely so that you will share the gifts of time, ability, passion and finances that God has entrusted to you.

5. We know that there is a lot more to Truth than we will ever know or understand, but that will not keep us from boldly speaking and living the truth that we do know.

6. Finally, our focus here is on opening doors for people who have never had or given up on a relationship with God through the Church. If you are an already churched person, this may not be the place for you. But we welcome you to roll-up your sleeves and help us be who God called us to be, not who you want us to be.

 

There’s more, but I think that gives you the idea. I want your relationship with God through Jacob's Well to have a solid foundation. And that means it built on being honest with each other. Consistently.

 

The SECOND is that we also need to Be truthful COMPLETELY. If the last point was telling nothing but the truth, this is telling the whole truth. The fact is that a half-truth is a whole lie. We can be untruthful not only by lying, but by withholding the truth.

 

Why don’t we tell the whole truth? Because we're afraid to! We don’t want to stir up trouble. Let sleeping dogs lie, don’t rock the boat. And so we avoid the explosion, but have a relationship that is missing a key ingredient – the truth. And that doesn’t work.

You may be living in a relational nightmare right now because there are things that need to be said. Issues you aren’t facing. You avoid it by not telling the whole truth. But withholding the truth is slowly undermining your relationship.

 

Proverbs 28.23 says, "In the end people appreciate frankness more than flattery." Don’t keep the peace to avoid confrontation. It is hard and messy, but there is no substitute for the truth.

 

You may be thinking,

“If I told my boss what I really thought about this project, I’d be fired.”

“If I told my friends the truth, they wouldn’t like me anymore.”

“If I told my parents the truth, they’d kick me out of the house.”

“If I told my spouse or partner what I think of our relationship, he or she wouldn’t understand.”

“If I told my pastor what I think of his preaching…” Oh well, never mind.

 

Telling the whole truth is hard, tell it anyway.

 

On your outline it says, “The Truth OF Jacob's Well” and again has a blank. What is that? What is the truth that we have to tell completely or we aren’t giving you the whole story? Simply put, it is Jesus. We believe in God, and that doesn’t mean agreeing that God exists, but trusting God with our lives. And that God is known, once and for all, in Jesus. If we just talk about God vaguely here, if we just try to make you better people by improving your habits, we aren’t being completely honest. The complete Truth is Jesus. And it is getting to know that Truth that you will understand why Jacob's Well exists and why we do what we do. That is our Truth. Some of you may be thrilled to hear that, some of you might wish we’d just talk about God and not drag Jesus into it so much. We can’t help it. It is part of the whole Truth we have. Let’s deal with it together, it will make us stronger. God promises!

 

So tell the truth consistently and completely, but that doesn’t give you permission to use the truth like a club. That’s the next point…

 

THIRD, we must Be truthful COMPASSIONATELY.

Read this verse from Ephesians 4.15 with me…

Speaking the truth with love, we will grow up in every way into Christ, who is the head.

Circle the words “with love.”

 

Have you ever known a person who believed in always being honest? They always told everyone exactly what they thought of them, and what they wore and did? You probably noticed that they didn’t build the best relationships. That is because they weren’t speaking the truth in love. They were probably voicing their opinions with insensitivity. That is not the same.

 

This may sound contradictory to being truthful consistently and completely, but what it really says is that being truthful is complex. Question your motives for speaking or not speaking the truth.

· If you are trying to “fix” someone else, question whether it is love driving you or something a little less admirable.

· If you merely fear making someone uncomfortable, be brave.

· If you truly believe that the timing is wrong or you aren’t the one who can tell the truth, be patient. Look for more creative ways to be truthful. And remember the most important thing, be truthful with yourself first.

 

That would be the FOURTH point to this, which isn’t on your sheet, but you may want to write it down, and that is Being truthful CONFESSIONALLY. That means apply the truth to yourself first.

 

If you are a human being, would you please raise your hand? Okay, this applies to you. You have trouble telling the truth. To yourself, to other people and to God. And it is hurting you and the people you love. There is no easy out. Here is what I would like you to take away with you today. Find ways to be truthful this week that you haven’t been before. Consistently, completely and compassionately. But I would recommend starting with confessionally, being truthful to yourself. There are things you are in denial of and haven’t accepted responsibility for. If you are like me, you have some talking to do with God. Don’t worry, God isn’t going to make you face all the truth at once because God doesn’t expect you to be perfect. God knows you can’t. Making you good enough for God’s love was Jesus’ job, and he did that already.

 

Trust God with the truth about yourself. Learn to build your life with a real foundation, build integrity into who you are and what you say and do. And as you do that, you will begin to see how you can speak the truth in love to other people confidently and constructively.

 

Jesus said, “The truth will make you free.” We all have these bracelets on us that symbolize the lies we live with; within us, between us and between us and God, and they trap us. All we can do is tighten them, more and more. There is no way out of that trap through more untruth, more deception, more lies. But the truth, will make you free [cut the tie]. Wear this home – I’ll put another one on. It is neither comfortable or attractive, like untruth, and you will want to get it off. That is good. Sometime this week, when you have spoken the truth in love, cut it off as a symbol of the freedom that you are seeking and God promises you.

 

Would you pray with me…