Life's too short to be... Envious

ENVY…

..._______________ God's goodness in my own life,

..._______________ God's goodness in the life of others,

 

...and has ­­                   for God.

 

For where there is envy and selfish ambition, there will also be disorder and wickedness of every kind. James 3.16 NRSV

 

But the wisdom that comes from above leads us to be pure, friendly, gentle, sensible, kind, helpful, genuine, and sincere. James 3.17 CEV

 

 

We read the Bible to get ­                   of life.

 

I have also learned why people work so hard to succeed: it is because they envy the things their neighbors have. But it is useless. It is like chasing the wind. Ecclesiastes 4.6 TEV

Living without Envy

1.    _______________________________  who you are and what you have.

 

But now says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, who formed you, O Israel: you are precious in my sight, and honored, and I love you. Isaiah 43.1,4

 

 

· Don’t ___________________ yourself to others.

 

Let everyone be sure that he is doing his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work well done and won't need to compare himself with someone else.

Galatians 6.4 NLT

 

· God doesn’t promise riches, but offers ___________________________.

 

It's better to enjoy what we have than to always want something else, because that makes no more sense than chasing the wind.

Ecclesiastes 6.9 CEV

Contentment is trusting that God has will provide you with everything you need for today.

 · Contentment is ______________________.

 

I have learned to be content with whatever I have. Philippians 4.11

 

 

 

2.  ____________________________________________________ the lives of others.

 

Love is not envious. 1 Corinthians 13.4

 

Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.    Romans 12.15

 

3. Chase after _________________.

Don't be envious of sinful people; let reverence for the Lord be the concern of your life. If it is, you have a bright future. Proverbs 23.17-18 TEV

 

 

MESSAGE TEXT - 19 November 2006 – Jacob’s Well – Greg Meye

 

Imagine that person at the office, at school or in the neighborhood… you know, the one for whom everything always seems to go right. Everyone seems to like him or her. That person’s name always comes up in conversations and it is always in glowing terms. They have the greatest house, drive cool cars, always has a tan – even in the middle of winter – and seems to have their clothes in the next fashion just before anyone else really even knows about the fashion, and by the time you make the shift, you she or he has moved on to a slightly different look. God’s gift to the planet… And then one day, you are driving down the road you see someone has been pulled over for a ticket. As you go by you notice it is that person! Now… tell the truth… what are you feeling inside? Is there just the least little bit of “Yeah!” Welcome to the world of ‘Envy.’

 

On the top of the message outline on the back of your Sunday Paper there is a passage from Galatians chapter 5.25-26,

“If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, competing against one another, envying one another.”

 

Life is too short to be envious! Why? Because if Selfishness, which we talked about a few weeks ago, is always thinking about yourself, then Envy is never really looking at yourself. When you are envious you are only focused on others, what they have and what they are like, and therefore what you don’t have and aren’t like. That means you aren’t valuing who you are, and what you have! That’s a big loss!

 

At the same time it unrealistically idealizes other people. And that makes you start resenting that person.

 

Here is the real kicker of envy. Even though envy twists you until you resent and dislike that person, it wants to make you like them so that others will envy you.

 

Folks! This is sick! It is stupid! It doesn’t work! And we do it all the time!

 

Here is what Envy does, envy…

IGNORES God’s goodness in my own life,

RESENTS God’s goodness in the life of others, and

it has NO PLACE for God.

 

And it sucks us all in. You know there is a great way to avoid envy. Just always hang out with people who are poorer than you. No, I’m afraid even that doesn’t work. All you have to do is go to the doctor’s office and pick up a copy of Country Living and see a picture of the ideal house. One like you thought you’d live in some day when you were a kid, not like the one you actually have. For me, I’d pick up the Sailing magazine… and I’d start feeling miserable because of what I don’t have and don’t get to do…

 

James 3.16 says,

For where there is envy and selfish ambition there will also be disorder and wickedness of every kind.

 

Envy messes up our lives and our relationships, and makes our world run on a fuel that poisons us all.

 

And James goes on in the next verse to say,

But the wisdom that comes from above leads us to be pure, friendly, gentle, sensible, kind, helpful, genuine and sincere.

 

Circle “from above.” Here is what is going on here. Being envious is natural to us. That doesn’t mean it is good for us, or that it is the only way we can live. God has a different view of our lives, one that is worth spending your life at. But to have it, you have to learn from God. Not because these things, like being friendly, helpful and sincere, are unknown to us, but they get overpowered so easily.

 

James is telling us why we read the Bible. I want to spend a moment here because this is important stuff. I don’t know what your experience with the Bible is. Maybe you read and use it, maybe you’ve never had one. Maybe you just wish it would go away. But the reason we read the Bible is that our way of doing things isn’t enough. The things that come naturally for us aren’t worthy of our lives. We need God’s perspective on things. And while the Bible isn’t an answer book, it isn’t a 2000 year old version of Dr Phil, it can speak to us today. As human as it is, when taken together, and lived and wrestled with, the Bible reflects God’s view of things. We need that.

 

That’s why we read the Bible. To get GOD’S VIEW of life.

This verse from Ecclesiastes, a sage from 100’s of years before Jesus, sums it up the problem pretty well.

I have also learned why people work so hard to succeed: it is because they envy the things their neighbors have. But it is useless. It is like chasing the wind. Ecclesiastes 4.6 TEV

 

We need a different view of life. We need God’s view.

 

In those groups you talked in during with Sara on location at the Vintage Car Garage, I’d like you to take on this somewhat weightier question. By the way, in case you didn’t pick up on it, those green post-it notes on your Sunday Paper, they are for you to write down all the things and people you envy. Just go ahead and jot down your notes during the service. Okay? Here’s the question for your group now…

DISCUSSION TIME: What would change if you could have everything on your Green Envy Card? If you could never have any of it?

 

Okay, it’s great to hear you all talking! I don’t know what you each came up with, but I bet you had to admit that as much as it would be nice to have some of those things, your life wouldn’t really be too much better… That’s the way it works.

 

Now God has a few suggestions for you about how to live without envy. At the risk of being simplistic, let me wrap up what I’ve found the Bible to say into three basic areas.

 

The FIRST is to VALUE who you are and what you have.

 

Remember, envy ignores God’s blessings in our lives. This is a problem folks, because you are of intrinsic worth, and spending your whole life trying to be someone else is ignoring the great gift to the world you are meant to be.

 

When I was in grade school my best friend Tommy was always a little bit better at everything than me, so I was always trying to be like Tommy. I tried to talk like him and play games like him. The whole schtick. What I realized later is that Tommy wanted to be Jamie who was an even better natural athlete. So I was trying to walk and talk like Tommy who was trying to be like Jamie… who wanted to be cool like Andy, who wasn’t much of an athlete, but he was smooth, so I was trying to be like Tommy, who was trying to be like Jamie, who was trying to be like Andy. And guess who Andy was trying to be like? That’s right. Me! And you wonder why I’m so screwed up today!

 

Yikes! Folks, you aren’t one in 6 billion on this planet. You are 1 in 1! You are just who God intended you to be. In Isaiah 43 God speaks to you and says, read this with me…

But now says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, who formed you, O Israel: you are precious in my sight, and honored, and I love you. Isaiah 43.1,4

 

This is God’s personal message to you! On your outline next to that verse I want you to write “To” and then your name, and then underline that last line, “You are precious in my sight, and honored, and I love you.” This is the Gospel folks. Of all the things God wants you to know, that’s it! God was so desperate to have you know it that he came as Jesus to our world to deliver the message personally. God loves you and values you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. Now that doesn’t mean that God likes status quo in your life, but having you grow to become who you can be is a lot different than always trying to be like someone else.

 

You see, envy keeps us from seeing who God made us to be by always keeping our eyes on other people. So one way of valuing who God made you to be is:

Don’t COMPARE yourself to others.

Galatians 6.4 says,

Let everyone be sure that he is doing his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work well done and won't need to compare himself with someone else. Galatians 6.4 NLT

 

This is a great verse to memorize, just to remind yourself once in awhile when you are tempted to compare yourself to someone else, or when someone else does it. Your satisfaction with yourself comes from how well you did according to what you could do. To God and the people who love you, it doesn’t matter whether it is an A, B or a C, it matters that you did your best.

 

Here at Jacob’s Well we talk about the “Good enough principle.” We have traveled around the country and seen churches with a similar vision to ours that are years down the road already and they are doing some pretty amazing stuff that we just aren’t ready for yet. Now we could be beating ourselves up for not doing it all right now, but we know we just aren’t there yet! ‘Good enough’ doesn’t mean mediocre, it means doing the best we can with the resources we have right now. AND HERE IS THE KEY PIECE TO THAT – God will use what we can do. God doesn’t wait for you to be better than everyone else before God uses you. No, God honors who you are right now, and is ready and waiting to make great things happen from it. Don’t let comparison steal the joy you can have over who God made you!

 

Another piece to valuing who you are is to realize:

God doesn’t promise riches, but offers CONTENTMENT.

Face it, what drives envy? Discontentment with what we have and who we are. Envy make s a big assumption, it says if you had a PSIII or were more like George Clooney, then you’d be happy. Like the example from my grade school class, what makes you think George Clooney isn’t envious of someone else? What makes you think that after you get a PlayStation III you won’t soon be envying your friends who get the X-Box 720 – or whatever it will be called when it soon comes out? God knows our world gets stuck in this envy cycle that goes nowhere and wants to teach you contentment to take its place.

 

In Paul’s letter to the Philippians he wrote this…

I have learned to be content with whatever I have. Philippians 4.11

 

Circle the word, “learned.” Contentment, satisfaction doesn’t come naturally to us,

Contentment is LEARNED! That’s the next fill-in.

 

I wish contentment came naturally, but it doesn’t. It's your nature to be envious, to say, "I want other people to look at me" and "I want more and I don't want you to have anything" because my self esteem goes up when yours goes down. But if your self esteem goes up then mine goes down because I think you're getting ahead of me. Paul says we need to learn contentment.

 

Many of you need to join me in enrolling in the school of contentment. Just think how many “credits” you’ve already taken towards a degree in Envy. How many hours you’ve watched those TV ads encouraging those feelings. Think how much of your life you spent pursuing a career of “Get Ahead.” If you live in the western world you had a graduate degree in envy before you started high school and you’ve been doing Post-graduate work ever since! But you are probably in pre-school towards your degree in Contentment! There are a number of courses in it. Class 101 is "I already have more than I deserve" – but that’s another message for another day. It is going to take some time and effort. You’ve got a lot of unlearning to do!

Contentment means that God has given me everything that I need for today. Not for tomorrow or the next day, but what I need for right now. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any goals or ambitions. You can admire what someone else has, you can even say, “I wish I had that.” Just don’t envy it.

 

DISCUSSION TIME: How do you think you are taught to envy by our culture, and how can you unlearn it?

 

That points us to the SECOND aspect of living without envy. APPRECIATE the lives of others.

 

If you are married, how many of you had 1 Corinthians 13 read at your wedding? Most weddings do. If yours did one of the things you heard was that “Love is not envious.” How can it be? Love and envy are opposites. Love wants the best for another person, envy wants them to trip so that you can feel better about yourself.

 

Now if this is so hard to do within our own families that we need to be reminded of it, just think how hard it is to do with the jerk at school who gets the lead in the play, the boss who treats everyone like dirt but gets a promotion, or the neighbor who lets his dog do its job all over your lawn and then wins a year’s worth of free yard service.

 

Read that next verse with me from Romans 12.15.

 

Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.

Romans 12.15

 

This is what God is calling us to, even though envy is coaxing us to do the exact opposite – to rejoice when someone else stumbles and to weep when someone else gets ahead. To find love like that can defy envy, you need God’s love filling you.

 

This is empathy. It is a gift God wants to give us. One of the ways that we get joy is by rejoicing in the joys of other people. But if you can’t rejoice when someone else gets married, gets the promotion, makes on the varsity team and you didn’t, then something is wrong. You are missing out on a lot of happiness if it has to happen to you to make you happy.

 

Here’s the THIRD piece to living without Envy. Chase after GOD. We all chase after something, and none of it does much for us. The truth is that until we fill the hole that envy fills, we will have a hard time keeping envy from doing its destructive thing to our lives and our relationships. Instead of focusing on yourself, which leads to selfishness, or on other people and other things, which leads to envy, focus on God. I talked about that a little bit earlier when I said that we read the Bible to get God’s view of life. If you are spending all your time in the classroom of this world, then you will be getting the world’s view of life. Spend time getting to know God, pick God’s brain for how God sees you, what gifts God has invested in you and how God sees you fitting in this world. Not just someday when you get your act together, but right now.

 

The book of Proverbs says,

Don't be envious of sinful people; let reverence for the Lord be the concern of your life. If it is, you have a bright future.

Proverbs 23.17-18 TEV

 

Let me unpack that a little. “Don’t be envious of sinful people.” ‘Sinful people’ are people who are out of synch with God. People who have barriers between what God is up to and what they are up to.

 

It goes on to say, “Let reverence for the Lord be the concern of your life.” Reverence, that means “let God be God.” Concern your life with remembering that God has a better view of where you’re heading than you!

 

When you do this, then there is a future for you. A bright future. Not one of wealth and prestige and power perhaps, but one of contentment. One that you find meaning in, day in and day out. One that doesn’t undermine your own hopes for yourself and destroy your relationships.

 

You’ve all got those green slips of paper – your ‘envy papers.’ I’ve pretty well filled mine up. This is stuff I want to leave behind. I’d like my mind and my heart and my actions filled by God’s love for me, rather than my own destructive envy of these things. We will have our offering in just a minute. During that time, while the band is singing take some time and ask God to let you know what belongs on that slip. When the offering bag comes around, don’t put it in there. We’ve got a different idea for that. But name it, name the little envy critters that are eating you up.

Would you pray with me…